5.

Five months deserves a post all its own.

Can you believe it? As of today I have been in Belgium for 5 months! When I think about these last five months it seems like it's been longer and shorter at the same time...

Ok, I'll be honest, I have no motivation to blog right now. It just seems so time consuming and anti-social! Which I guess is a sign that I now have the ability to BE social :) However, seeing as this is a somewhat special day, I feel as if it deserves somewhat of a blog post.

It is getting more and more difficult to post, from a linguistic stand point (also a good thing). I've become very uncertain with my spellings, sentence structure, and word choice in English. So being the perfectionist that I am, when it comes to posting these days it takes an agonizingly long time, I am constantly pausing to rethink something or-get this-think of it in English! I haven't yet dreamed in French but I can notice it becoming more and more prominent in my mind. For example, when I'm writing a note to someone (just there! I wrote some one and on re re-reading changed it) or in my journal there are certain phrases/words that come into my head in French and just seem easier to me like tartine instead of sandwich, chez eux instead of their house, en fait instead of actually... I must admit my journal has become a franglais mess!

Besides the fact that my brain probably resembles scrambled eggs, things are going really good here. As you may have guessed from my lack of posting during the holidays, they weren't the best time. Everyone says the upside to being away for Christmas would be getting to discover how another culture celebrated it, unfortunately my host family isn't big on Christmas and did nearly nothing :( there goes my upside. Plus the fact that I felt like I was missing Christmas (a really big fun deal in my house) I was really missing my friends and family. So then when the opportunity arose to go visit family (Viola) in Spain I jumped at it, and as you saw in my last post had the time of my life. Yet, returning "home" after it wasn't easy at first either. After seeing how much a part of everything Viola is there and getting to feel completely relaxed, at home, and a part of something myself, I felt like even more of a foreigner coming back here. Luckily this only lasted about two days. Then, as Dad would say, I got out of "pity city" put on a happy face and got going. Unfortunately 'happy faces' only last so long before they crack. I finally decided to be open with my host parents about how lonely I was feeling-for those of you who don't know me, that is not something I do. They were both shocked, I'm really good at pretending I'm fine. Anyways, talking to them was probably the best decision ever. Not only did it clear up a few things (like the kisses, they thought that I didn't like it because I didn't initiate them, when in reality I usually forget or am not sure when it's appropriate-after school, before bed...) but just having them know that I was having a bit of trouble immediately lessened my worries and made me feel way more at home.

So now I'm back in school and getting to see my friends everyday. I'm also starting to plan more trips and visits, I've only got six months left, it's time to get moving!