Already a Month

Can you believe it? I can't, it really doesn't feel like I've been here that long! It's weird to think that I've already been here a month and I only have 10 left! It brings up a range of very mixed emotions.

Firstly, being here has really made me come to realize what I have at home and how different it is here (not better or worse, just different). Okay, wow I really have no idea how to say what I'm thinking, it's pretty complicated, so I'll just tell you a little story of what happened yesterday that really highlights the point I'm trying to make.

So yesterday was just an average day at school, neither fantastic or horrible, just school. However, after school was another thing. Long story short there was a mix up with the buses and I didn't get home until 5:50, and when I did finally get here I was on the verge of a breakdown and quite seriously considering just going up to my room and crying. So as I walked in the door, barely holding it together, Mano told me that my package was here! The package I had been waiting for all week had finally arrived, and the timing couldn't have been better, as you can see I really needed a pick me up. So I got the box and completely destroyed it 'cause I was trying to open it so fast. When I finally did get it open, I swear I heard an angelic chorus of, "Ahhhhhhhhh!" as light poured out of that battered box that had traveled across the Atlantic, just for me. And I literally yelped in joy as I peered inside to see not only my beloved vans but also tons of good ol' American candy! Every little package had a pink post-it on it with something completely dorky, yet endearing, and totally Mom, written on it. I started to laugh and looked up to find my host sister eying me like she thought maybe I should be locked up and I had no way of explaining to her the post-its because they just "are" Mom. Then in that moment I realized why lately, contrary to my way of thinking before I left, I've been thinking that it would be nice for my family to come, if not this year then I'm definitely bringing them back the year after. Not only do I want them here to share my experience (an experience that without them would have undoubtedly been impossible) but also, I want to show them off! How crazy is that? Haha but even more bizzare, a few post-its from my mom made me realize all of this in a few seconds. Needless to say that little "care pack" from home turned my day around :]

So I ran upstairs, I had to call them and let them know I'd gotten it (we were kind of worried, they'd slightly butchered the address on the box) and how it made my day. I turned on my computer and waited impatiently while it booted up then immediately opened Skype and dialed the house. It rang, and rang, and rang (later I realized that they weren't at home at all, they were on their way to a volleyball tournament).....but while I was waiting for them to pick up Sasha called me! I didn't know what to do, I didn't want to miss her call or my family, luckily our message machine picked up so I answered Sasha's call and to add to the luck of my evening, it wasn't just Sasha, she was with Kiana and Golden! Which is indeed quite lucky, for those of you who don't know Golden has been in San Diego for school, Sasha in Reno for school, and Kiana at home (earning money for her trip to South Africa later this year) so to catch them all together was AMAZING! We talked and joked and laughed for a half hour. Afterwards I was left with the warm feeling of being loved :] I realized what amazing people my friends are (not to mention good looking) and what a close strong bond we share, in that half hour I was able to be the totally spastic me and have people laugh at me! Whenever I do something odd here everyone just looks at me-everyone is so much more reserved here! (Not that that's bad, it's just different)

I guess you could say that yesterday was the climax of all these thoughts and feelings about home that have been building up since I left. The longer I'm here the more I'm learning about not only Belgian culture, but American culture as well, and it's making me realize more and more what it is to "be an American." For example, in general I think that we are much more open, like the "constantly smiling American" is often viewed as being superficial when for us it's just normal. One girl in my class just yesterday asked me why I was always smiling! :] I didn't even realize I was lol. It's little things like this that I'm learning about our culture back in the states. With the generally negative view the world has of the US-or so I was always told- had made me almost self conscious about my nationality, do people really hate Americans?? But being here has made more clear to me how different and special our culture is, and how much I love it.

I am very much excited for the other things I will discover about Belgium, Belgian/US culture, and even myself. I think that this exchange was exactly what I needed, thank you Rotary! And now I'm off (with a big smile on my face) and I'm sending all of you my love, some "big American hugs," and Belgian bisous <3